When Criticism Misses the Point
The crux of the criticism I recently received was simple: my content gives “toxic male gaze vibes.” Now, a basic review of my profiles and content should suggest to anyone that I genuinely don’t care about performing for approval. In other words: IDGAF.
But I do care about the conversation, and I do care about the deeper questions beneath the criticism.
Yes, my past strategy was bold, provocative, and even “cringe” by corporate standards. It was designed that way because drama draws attention, and attention creates momentum. Those of you who have been following me from the beginning, you know my strategy was based on the wild findings in the research published by all the dating apps. That strategy worked. My network grew, doors opened, and people who resonated with my work found me.
Now I’m shifting. I’m focused less on pure attention and more on value, depth, and freedom. My voice cannot be canceled, precisely because it refuses to hide behind a facade.
And here’s the heart of it:
I’m unapologetically in my masculine and feminine. That doesn’t mean “toxic.” That doesn’t mean “demeaning.” It means I express myself openly, directly, and yes, sometimes with imagery and words that make people uncomfortable.
The discomfort is the point. Behind closed doors, society indulges in everything it condemns in public. We hide behind fig leaves, while pretending that repression equals morality. It doesn’t.
The truth is, my engagement happens mostly in private messages. Why? Because people have reputations to maintain, even when my content resonates with them deeply. Publicly, they distance themselves; privately, they engage. That says more about our culture than it does about me.
To those who find my approach offensive: I hear you. I don’t expect to change your mind. But I also won’t betray my voice to conform.
Because we will not achieve true equality—social, gendered, or otherwise—if we don’t stop hiding behind these silly fig leaves.
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